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my mom wants to yank me out, you havenapos;t even mentioned it.


I dont know if its cause you know I already get it or because you dont want to except it.

either way im happy enough with not being reminded every three seconds that in a few short weeks iapos;ll be pulled from a place that I actually enjoy, a school that i actually like going to for the first time in my life, and will be placed in a stupid fucking normal ass stuck up all white fucking preppy ass shoreline school.



I really dont want to do this.

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I got laid off yesterday. Yup. Sucks to be me.

Itapos;s not like I didnapos;t see it coming. First of all, the project I was hired to oversee was terminated by the project owner a month after I started. I was surprised that I survived the first round of lay offs in early July. And we never really recovered. The receptionist was out a couple of days last week, so I was helping out with answering the phones and opening the mail. At least half of the calls coming in were from creditors, and the mail was full of past due invoices. So I knew we were in trouble and layoffs were probably inevitable.

They were very nice about it, clearly felt bad, gave me a small severance package (not required) and were clear that they were happy with my performance, would rehire me, etc. I was told that the architect I primarily supported had fought to keep me. There is a small possibility that I will continue on a part-time or contract basis.

I have worked a total of five months in 2008 and now Iapos;m not working again. I have 9 weeks of unemployment left. Scary times...

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I watched a brief interview Diane Sawyer did with "Joe the Plumber" on that was reposted on YouTube. Listening to his objection to Obamaapos;s plan to increase the amount of taxes paid by those making over $250,000 (whose ranks it seemed pretty clear did not include Joe) I was reminded of a line from the musical "1776" where the character of John Dickinson explains the appeal of conservatism to the radical John Adams:

"...I find that most people would rather protect the possibility of becoming rich than face the reality of being poor."

I wonder if that was an actual quote from John Dickinson or was written for the musical? Itapos;s quite apt.

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Hi.� Itapos;s been a while, hasnapos;t it?� Ah well.

Well, St Lawrence is great, I love it there.� I wish it wasnapos;t so far away from home, but I think itapos;s good for me.� My classes seem pretty easy, which I have no idea why.� Iapos;m acing all of them and I am so surprised.� Next semester should be more fun.� I am taking French, German, International Politics and American/Canadian studies.� So yeah.� Being away from�Alex is harder than I thought it would be and we have had some fights.� But weapos;ll be okay. �I think weapos;re starting to get the hang of it.� I hate missing him.� But I have friends and stuff to do.� I go canoeing and kayaking like 3 times a week, so thatapos;s pretty fun.� I have French�Club and Model UN too. :)

So yeah, college rocks.� A lot.

Iapos;m just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle



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Part of list of things to do before i graduate high school that have been ticked off all in the past 2 days:
1. Spend the entire night in poveda
2. Spend the entire night in poveda awake (and last the next day)
3. Sleep on the bathroom floor (i could not sleep in the pavilion because the aircon was too cold so i moved to the bathroom)
4. Shower in poveda
5. Raid the faculty rooms
6. Go to school the whole day without going to classes
7. Eat Tito Gabbyapos;s chicken
8. Steal food from one of those teachersapos; set meals
9. Discover where they keep all those bundles of keys
10. See ms. Java in her pajamas (almost :o)

---

scop, congratulations. We did it.

i really need to catch up on sleep. 4 iw cards to finish in one day then two-day intrams then itapos;s finally sembreak time. Just a little bit more.

i find it cool how you can blow me away.
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I passed out last night. I guess my body couldnapos;t handle the lack of sleep and gave in. Iapos;m so tired, Iapos;ve been having trouble keeping my eyes open all day. Iapos;m going to run to Walgreens to get highlighting make up, I looked in my reflection on my red bull can today in Aquatic Science and looked like my make up had smudged to about an inch below my eyes. Only, it wasnapos;t makeup.

I woke up late, I didnapos;t get up until 8:20ish. I got up and got dressed, did my makeup and hair, found all of my school shit for today in 20 minutes or less and ran out the door. I remembered breakfast. I was temped to skip the meds, it takes so long to take those. Swallowing 8 pills at once is hard, especially when they make me gag because they are so bitter.

I have to go somewhere important at 3, and somehow make it to school before Nelson leaves to do my major grade presentation. At least I know all of the signs, Kayla helped me out in english today. Why are deaf kiddos so nice to me lately? I feel like cody is trying to help me out by talking to me (sort of...his form of getting hearing attention is making weird noises. He honked at me once and laughed when I jumped.). Kayla was very helpful "of course Iapos;ll help you". Awesome.

We are starting the college essays in English, I should probably start applying to colleges so I�know what the prompts for the different colleges will be. Iapos;m afraid. I donapos;t want to go far away for god knows what stupid reason. Well, I know why. Itapos;s dumb so donapos;t ask me please. I donapos;t know what to do about it either. Iapos;ve been thinking of states or cities and Iapos;m so scared that I canapos;t even stand thinking about leaving Austin. What a wreck. I want to leave, I want to experience leaving and going somewhere new, and Iapos;m dumb for not going after it, but really I donapos;t want to at the same time. It hurts.

The screen on my phone wonapos;t turn black anymore. Used to be, after a while the screen would turn off, but now it wonapos;t. I asked Will if his did the same, but no, his turns black. I didnapos;t do anything to it, but I guess Iapos;ll ask Charles on Sunday about it. Maybe sooner, I need to get together with him to put Microsoft on his computer. I guess he has it pirated or something.

I hate when people send texts back that say "okay" for no reason. Like hey, i have a question, *asks question* *question answered* thanks�*explains what significance the question had*�"okay". Why?�Itapos;s irritating. I open a text hoping that somebody has something that they want to tell me about, and instead I get "okay". I canapos;t tell if they are interested or just saying okay in an irritated way. There are no clues.

Still nothing.

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...but there is in my favorite four letter word.

Nothing eventful today. Couldnapos;t sleep at night again, so lame as I am I�decided to do some coding. I was working on getting the information about the thermal vacuum test images to write this report, then I�find out today that thereapos;s a stack of papers which describes them all, but then some of the papers lie? So, Iapos;m still a little unsure of what to do about this.

I got my first REAL�call for the ACS/WFPC2 help desk today, but it was something easy. Well, easy for an awesome opossum like me (not that Iapos;m really a opossum...if I WERE�an animal, Iapos;m sure Iapos;d be some kind of jungle cat or something, but I�digress...). It was about a zeropoint for the Solar Blind Channel and, of course, those arenapos;t published on our website�Go team�So, I used SYNPHOT�to calculate it and sent the result along with the method back. W00t. I learned new things in the process. Learning rawks...as long as itapos;s useful and makes sense.

I think the rest of the day will be reserved for studying physics. I am a bit ahead on my hours for the pay period, so no need to work my fingers to the bone. Plus, I�can always work on my code/presentation for Tuesday if I feel any work guilt. But Iapos;m sure Iapos;ll wake up in the middle of the night again and do work then.

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